Q&A: Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women,
Don't Assume Rejection Is A Given
Yes, it's that time once again: the day we feature your dating and relationship questions. Although we would like to answer each one personally, and with as much detail as possible, the overwhelming amount of inquiries forces us to highlight those that are most interesting to emperorswife.com readers; your e-mail may even be answered in the process.
This week's Q&A focuses on getting over the fear of approaching women, being too smooth with the ladies, and what to do if a woman gives you attitude. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
Do you have any advice for guys on how to get over their fear of approaching a woman?
The difference between guys who are amazing at approaching women and guys who can't approach women at all isn't whether or not they have eliminated their fears... but what they do with them.
If you think about it, you really only have two choices:
1- You can let it destroy you... and your chances of meeting a woman and having a great relationship.
2- You can let it motivate you... and increase your chances of meeting the women you desire.
What I'm trying to say here is that guys who are great at approaching women and starting up conversations use this fear to their advantage.
Think about it this way...
People spend tons of money on things like bungee jumping, roller coaster rides and jumping out of airplanes.
Isn't it great that you can get that same rush of excitement by simply going to the bar tonight and approaching some attractive women? And possibly getting an amazing payoff (dates with women) that you just can't get doing any of these other things?
Hunter S. Thompson once said, "Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing."
So the next time you see an attractive woman you want to meet and you feel that nervous excitement creeping up... enjoy it, and make something happen!
Should a guy try to act "smooth" when he approaches a woman for the first time?
Men will put on an "act" when they approach a woman as an ego-defense mechanism.
That way, if the woman happens to reject them, they can blame their rejection on the "act" or the "line"... instead of placing the blame where it should be -- on themselves.
Now, what these guys fail to realize is that the very act of "putting on an act" is often the cause of their rejection in the first place.
It's no secret that women are very perceptive, especially attractive women who get hit on dozens of times each day.
They can smell a fraud from a mile away, and if that fraud is you, you're going down.
Now, here's a secret that women know but men don't:
It takes a lot more courage to be yourself than it does to approach a woman with an "act" or a "line" that isn't you.
And if you do approach a woman as yourself and in a genuine and confident way, you will almost never get rejected because she will see the courage and confidence behind it.