Deciphering Women's Dating Books
He's Just Not That Into You has enjoyed phenomenal success since its publication in the fall of 2004. Penned by a former Sex and the City writer, the popular dating guide has spawned national reading tours, international television interviews, a ton of revenue, and, as is the case with most best-selling books, a series of imitators.
Browse the aisles at your local Barnes & Noble and you'll encounter a bevy of books instructing women on how to get the upper hand on the opposite sex.
Is this new generation of self-help books destined to end up on the same dust heap as its predecessors, or is this something we men should be concerned about? Just what have females figured out about us, and what kind of devious strategies are they now employing?
We sat down with He's Just Not That Into You as well as four other similar titles to figure it out.
Read on for a brief primer on the lessons that each book has to offer and the strategies you should adopt for dealing with their readers.
What it says about men: In the words of author Greg Behrendt, "If a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain't nothing that's going to get in his way." This bestselling book is refreshingly upbeat, managing to focus less on man-bashing and more on women's inability to recognize a disinterested partner.
How to handle its readers: Like most self help books, readers of He's Just Not That Into You come away highly empowered. They know if you don't treat them properly, another, better-suited man gladly will. Women like these are likely to have little patience for your immaturity, so making a good first impression is key. Authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo challenge their readers to avoid men who:
- Keep them waiting by the phone
- Are not sure they want a relationship
- Make them feel sexually undesirable
- Drink or do drugs to an extent it makes them uncomfortable
- Fear talking about the future
- Are married
Readers know you're not their only option any more, so give them the attention they deserve and let them know you value your relationship. If you don't want to pursue your relationship, be honest about that, too. Readers of this book will be committed to living a life free of excuses, and they expect the same from you.